“You write on stress management, but can you put your stress aside?” My friend asked me. I thought if I put it aside, then it will come back. Instead, I should train my mind to be relaxed most of the time. In-spite of all the troubles of this world, I should remain calm and enjoy. That is what we like and that is what we should do. There will be scenarios where you will get stress and you should, but we are talking about overall personality here and to see yourself calmer.
One of the saints of India was asked “What do you think about stress management? There are so many issues in today’s world. How should one tackle it?” He laughed and what he replied won my heart. He simply said that “Why do you want to manage Stress? It is not something valuable that you manage it.” I have experienced in my life that the answers of bigger problem always lies in simplicity. Let us look at another incident. I am not sure if this is true, but I read it somewhere. When Einstein was a kid, he was asked by his teacher, what is darkness? And, he replied that darkness itself does not have any power, it is just the absence of light. What an insight that is. Similarly stress itself does not have any power. It is nothing, but absence of joy and love.
In today’s life we are so busy that we do not realize that we are living under great amount of stress and have forgotten to enjoy each and every moment. We have forgotten the bliss this life gives us. Entire day our focus is on problems. This hurts our sleep also. When we are about to sleep, we get the thoughts of all the problems we have. We feel panic and stressful. Today’s issue is not about getting less sleep, but deteriorating quality of sleep as we do not feel relaxed even after 7 to 8 hours sleep. We need to change the way we live and we need to change the way we think.
Below steps are more of reminders to value life over stress. It will only work if you work on it.
Focus on Joy – As mentioned above, we need to replace the thought of joy and love with stressful thoughts. If you are not getting good sleep, then before retiring at night think about all the good things you have in life. Think about your family, how they are giving you unconditional love. Think about all the things you have to live a comfortable life. Think about the good time spent and all the laughter you enjoyed with friends. Think about all the places you went for vacation and the relaxation you felt. All you need to do is focus on joy you have ever felt in your life. Fill your mind with so much joyful thought that there is no space for stressful thoughts. It is just like removing the weeds from the garden of your mind and fills it with all the beautiful flowers. You are the gardener of your mind. Make sure you plant seeds of beauty and joy.
Value your life – Most of us might have hired lockers in bank to keep precious ornaments safe because we value them. Similarly we need to create a safe for our precious life to keep the negative thoughts away. I am talking about valuing your life so much that you don’t entertain anything which harms it. Stress is such a poison which can slowly finish your life. Only if you start thinking that we are lucky enough to get birth as a human and start appreciating life, we will be able to stay away from all the unnecessary thoughts. We will be able to safeguard our life.
Change lifestyle – I have mentioned this in my previous articles as well. All the stress we are facing today is because we changed the way we used to live. We have provided room to many unhealthy habits that we don’t realize their impacts. We have forgotten to pray, to feel gratitude, to feel relaxed and to feel alive. Instead, we have learned to get upset on small things, to get lost in technology, to lose patience easily and to take unnecessary stress. Examine how you are spending your days and find out which all habits are destroying you and change it ASAP.
Nothing is permanent – This is a life changing phenomena. All our worries, tensions, and problems are temporary. Nothing is going to stay for lifetime with us. If you made a mistake today, then nobody is going to remember it after 5 years unless you do it again. The only thing permanent is change and that is the beauty of life. Your role is to evolve and not to hold on to negative thoughts. So just focus on solutions, joy and happiness and you will be able to embrace the calmness forever.