How to be at peace with your own self?

Be at peace with yourself
Be at peace with the world
Let your anger, hurt, and problems of the day
go down with the sun each evening.
Let joy, happiness and hope
rise in your heart with the sun each morning.
Be at peace with yourself
be at peace in your world.

By “Patricia Walter”

Being at peace with yourself sounds like something to be achieved by saints of Himalaya. It might also look like leaving all the desires and do meditation for hours. It will give you the same benefits, but it is not something which we cannot achieve in our current social life. Being at peace is like going on a journey with your own self. It is about accepting your existence as it is and falling in love with your own self. It’s a very difficult goal to meet when we have so many targets, failures, disappointments. The irony is that we try to win everyone except our own self.

When we are at peace with our own self, we become relaxed, grateful and the most importantly happy. We reduce your frustration to a great level and face failures positively. We love our self and spread it with the world. You do not need others approval for your worth because you know it and there is no need to prove anything to anyone. Life becomes simple and easy when we get rid of many of such struggle. Everything we do, then reflects our inner calmness. People feel the peace and when they are with you they also might find peace with their own self.

Perfection is a myth – We run after perfection in spite of knowing that only God can be perfect. We just define some financial or physical state to look like perfection and then spend our entire life to achieve it. We don’t accept our self till we achieve it and we keep changing the definition of perfection. Many people attempt suicide because they cannot accept their shortcomings or failures. They start having thoughts like “How can I fail? or How will I face the world?” This kind of negative thoughts leads to self-destruction. In this present moment you are perfect as you are alive. Whatever you are, wherever you are, just accept yourself as it is. Accept that this is the best possible way you can be, in the given situation. Stop all the negative thoughts and just love your inner child in this present moment.

Failure is a stepping stone – We try many things in life and we fail in many. We consider failure as the end point instead of considering it as an opportunity to learn. Suppose you are walking on a road towards your destination and you fell down due to a big stone on the way. Will you consider falling down as your end of journey or you will learn to be mindful while walking. Same is the case with life. All those failures and disappointments have made us better person today. We have learned lessons of life hard way, but the important thing is that we are still moving and rocking.

Take care of inner child – Inner child is a person’s supposed original or true self, especially when regarded as concealed in adulthood. We all have inner child within us, who is scared and lost, because we never took care of him. We always worried about what world will think of us even though no one in this world except your loved ones care about you. First, try to settle down from inside and then if you have time, think about the world. Your inner child is feeling lots of sadness because we never sat down and tried to understand him. Today try to give an imaginary hug to your inner child and tell him that everything is fine and you are with him till the end. Tell him that you love him very much and you might see couple of tears rolling down from your eyes.

Comparison with peace – Another area of concern is the comparison with others. Many will tell you that don’t compare yourself with others as you are unique. I agree to that, I just have slightly different approach. I think that we waste lots of our time in doing the wrong comparison. When I say wrong, I meant that we always compare our external situation with others, but we hardly compare the inner qualities. For, e.g. we always compare others financial conditions, but we never try to see how much hard work that person must have done to achieve it. When you compare and try to achieve those inner qualities, external situation changes by itself. I know it is difficult and I am also finding it hard to apply it in my own life, but I think that is the only way to achieve outcomes I need with peace of mind.

Being content – When you are at peace with yourself, you become content. You become mindful of your surrounding and enjoy all the pleasures. When you are at peace, you realize what really gives you happiness and you spend your time accordingly. Many claims that excitement gives them happiness and if they become content, then they cannot achieve it. I am not talking about temporary, but the permanent happiness and we all know that excitement in anything does not stay for long. Being content does not mean you are a loser. It is just that you chose a different path to be happy. It is just that you have decided what is enough for you.

There is no race and you don’t need to come first. You are here in this world to enjoy the journey. So be at peace with yourself and enjoy your own company.

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