We spend our whole life in search of love from others. We wish that true love will find us and that special love will change our life. If you don’t find the love then you fall into the valley of emptiness and feel lost. We always tell our mind that if I get true love then, I will be the happiest person on the earth. Actually it works the other way round. You need to love yourself to get love from others and you need to love yourself to give love to others. How can we give something to others which we do not have.
Many emotional problems come because of the lack of self love. Depressed people think that they are not worthy to live in this world. They hate themselves and because of which they take the option of suicide. I agree that sometimes circumstances make you feel worthless, but if you truly love yourself then you can face any situation in life.
“Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers”Veronica A. Shoffstall
Normally lack of self love comes from two ways, what others tell you about yourself and what you tell about yourself. We have very deep impact of what others tell us about our self, especially our friends and family. In the childhood if you repeatedly hear from your parents that you are very bad and you are not worthy of anybody’s love then your entire life goes with that belief. After some time, you also start telling the same story to yourself. Guilt is also the biggest enemy of love. You might have done something wrong in the past because of which you cannot forgive yourself. Let bygones be bygones, we need to start to live in the present. Do not repeat those negative karmas and forget about all those negative beliefs about yourself. Start loving yourself and start telling yourself a new story that “I Love Myself”
“Had we not loved ourselves at all, we could never have been obliged to love anything. So that self-love is the basis of all love”Thomas Traherne
To love yourself also means to accept yourself as you are. It means to give you respect, a positive self-image, and unconditional self-acceptance. Please keep in mind that it does not mean being arrogant, egoistic and think that you are better than anyone else. It just means to give pure love to you and to others. We need to understand that no one is perfect except God. We all have strengths and weaknesses and we should work to improve our self. We all are unique and has specific talents and abilities to offer. We all are here in this world to serve a purpose. We can only know our true purpose on our life when we start radiating love to our self and to others. You do not need approval from others to love yourself.
“To love yourself right now, just as you are, is to give yourself heaven. Don’t wait until you die. If you wait, you die now. If you love, you live now”Alan Cohen
Self loving people always keep happiness as their priority. They feel fun and enjoyment in everything they do. You always want to be in their company. You feel peace and harmony with them. They radiate love to everybody all the time. As a child we always loved our self but as time pass on we start creating negative beliefs like we are not good or we are losers, etc. Children know at birth that they are loved by God or are accepted by the Universe. Why do we forget such a great truth when we grow up?
“Do you want to meet the love of your life? Look in the mirror”Byron Katie
Let’s do an exercise through which you will come to know how much you love yourself. Louise Hay, the author of bestselling book “You can heal your life” gave us a very good exercise called “The mirror exercise”. Go to the mirror in your house and tell these words “I love you (Your name), I love you very much”. What do you feel? Do you feel good or you feel resistance or some bad memories flashes on your mind? Mirror has a great power; it shows you what you are. It just does not show you how you look, but it also shows you how you feel about yourself. Even if you are not good looking, but if you love yourself then you will feel good when you see yourself in the mirror. Just imagine how you will feel when you look in the mirror that the face looking back at you is someone you truly love. This is a very good exercise to improve your self-esteem. Every morning just after you wake up, go to the mirror and repeat the golden words “I love you, I love you very much” Believe me your entire day will go with full of energy and you will feel wonderful because you start your day with the most amazing feeling, Love.
To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.
Some more exercise to find self love.
- Create a success notebook. Start making the list of all your successes instead of failures. Give pat on your back whenever you do something good.
- Take good care of your physical body. Everyday do some kind of exercises. E.g.: Yoga, Gym, Martial arts.
- Stop criticizing yourself. Transform your inner critics to your inner coach.
- Take the responsibility of your mistake and learn from that instead of feeling guilty.
- Take out some time to do things you love. E.g.: Buy a guitar for yourself and don’t think that you are not young enough to learn that.
- Sometime treat yourself with luxurious things. If you like watches then gift yourself a Rolex watch on your birthday.
Always remember that you are special.