We all have stories to tell about ourselves. Some of them are positive, but most of them are destructive. Yes I used the correct word. Those stories are not just negative, but they harm us a lot. Stories like “I don’t deserve happiness and love” or “I am a loser” or “My life sucks” or “I am dumb and cannot perform well in job” and many more like these we tell to ourselves and to others. These kinds of thoughts have taken place deep inside our mind and we don’t realize that they have become roadblocks for our happy life. We think that we are just talking about reality, but we are actually creating reality by speaking negative thoughts.
In college times, my friends and I used to spend all our pocket money on Pool or Snooker game. We used to play this LP which means looser pay and most of the time I was the one playing the role of loser. Those who played Pool must be knowing that the person who pots all his ball and then pot the black ball becomes the winner. Now it was not that my friends were great players. I used to pot all balls, but I always got stuck on the black ball. Even if it was the simplest shot and even a 10 year kid could finish it, I was not able to do it. The reason was that I used to start getting thoughts in my mind that I cannot win the game. I used to tell the stories like I am not good at Pool and most of the time I lose it. My all those mean friends who could do anything to win the game (literally) supported my story and were reminding me every time I am about to win the game.
Facts vs Stories – Many people say that they are not being negative, but that is the reality of life and we should face it. I am also talking about facing your problems, but in a positive way. All I want to ask is how repeating your negative stories helping you? Facts are nothing but the situations created by our own actions and these actions comes from the repetitive thoughts. One of my friends who is single think that her life is boring and she does not deserve happiness. I have heard this from her many times. Now she has everything like home, supportive parents, a well-paying job, but she still thinks that her life sucks and tells the same to everyone. I have read so many articles on how a single woman can enjoy her life and what all adventures she can do alone. Now do you think what she is saying is a fact or just a story which can be changed easily?
Start is always bad – I was thinking as from when we start telling ourselves all these negative things. I realized that it all start from the start. Whenever we try something new and if we do not perform well, we start believing that we are not good at it. To support this, we have friends and family members. For, e.g. you tried painting in your 5th or 6th std for the first time. This is something you did outside your curriculum just for fun. As you did it for the first time, definitely it was not good. You get the responses from your friends and family members something like “What an ugly picture is that” or “Please spare painting at least” or if someone is kind then “Dear, this is not your forte, please try something else”. What we missed to understand is that no one is good at first. It is not the talent, but practice that makes you a good performer. Those who ignore responses on first attempts, become winners. We need to understand if something did not go right the first time, then it does not mean that you will never be good at it. Instead of thinking about failures, start thinking about what you want. Start telling yourself that you are an excellent painter and it does not matter what others think about it. Change your story and others will change their own.
A new story – We all get wonderful gift from God every morning and that is a new day. In this new day we can chose to be happy, we can leave our past behind, we can believe in ourselves and we can chose to live a whole new life. There is so much we can do only if we start believing in ourselves that we deserve all the happiness of life. Just for an experiment try this. Find out which area of life you want to change. After that for the time being forget about the so-called reality and think about a situation you want. For, e.g. If you want to be happy in your life, then start thinking and saying that I am happy. When someone asks you how you are doing, then instead of making those funny faces reply with enthusiasm that I am doing great. Let the world know that you are no more a sad person who used to look at the world as a place of survival, but you are a completely new person who wants to conquer the world with all the happiness you feel inside. Try this for couple of weeks and if it does not work, then come and read this article again.
I have changed one of the stories of my life by saying that “I am an excellent writer”. This gives me confidence to portray all my thoughts on my Blog. This helps me to face areas where I need improvement. This helps me to challenge my limits of which I was afraid earlier. Life is beautiful and we can achieve all we want, only if we break the cage of negative stories. Spread the wings of optimism and fly high and shout to this world that for you “Sky is the limit”.