Human beings are always scared of something. Our mind has lots of thoughts about negative situations. What if I lose the Job or what if someone leaves me or what if I fall sick? We have so many fear in life because we do not have confidence of facing the situation. At the end we all come out of the negative situations. Darkness do not stay forever. Still, we do not believe in ourself and live in the tense mode. Why does this happen?
One of the main reason is the attachment to a particular identity. We are so obsessed with it that mere fear of losing it makes us sleepless. What is this identity after all? Something through which people know us. It is like a tag given to us or earned by us. For an average person these tags are a healthy, successful, wealthy, respected, parent, house owner, car owner, salaried, businessman, married and many more. Let us try to understand what happens when we lose one of these tags.
We will try to look at couple of above tags and we will see how it impacts our world. For, e.g. let us say I own a car. Now everyone who knows me are aware of this fact. Let us consider that I am not using this car very frequently as I have other means of transport and I avoid using car due to traffic issues. I am using public transport or cab to meet my everyday requirements. Now I am aware that I have spent some good amount of money on my car and I am not using it fully so ideally I should sell it and should en-cash some money. But I cannot as now everyone is aware that I have a car and if I sell it, then people will think that something is wrong.
Now I do not want to give that thoughts in others mind that I no more own a car and because of that I continue to own it. Here, I am trying to keep my tag of a car owner. In reality I can be better off without my car as I can use that money to pay off my loan. But, I am clinging to my identity and hence I cannot let it go. Similarly it goes for house or any other material possession. Now let us look at another tag, successful. The only way to keep this tag is by not facing any failures.
To avoid failures we hardly take risk. We will attempt where there are chances of being successful as that is what we have been known for. We never realize that we lose so much to save these tags and we hardly experience the life. We are creating bondage for lifetime by tagging ourselves. We can never come out of it and we can never live fully. What if we do not care how people see us or what if we don’t get scared if one of these or all tags are gone? Can we be our true self then? Do we have confidence to get it back if we want? For all that we need to create a self that is stronger.
First of all we need to accept that we are much more than our identity or these tags. We need to understand that this life is not going to be there forever in this body. We need to utilize this time to utmost possibility. Let us do one experiment. You need to do it for your own self and we don’t need any instruments. We only need 10 minutes and a clear mind. So do this when you are completely relaxed and when you are not worried about finishing any tasks. Night will be a good time as you are about unwind.
Try to analyse, which is the tag that you are most attached to. Is it wealthy or respectful or successful or a beautiful? Pick the one that can give you nightmare if you lose it. Now see a situation where due to whatever reason you lost that tag. Now see that how it will affect your life in reality? What all problems will you face and what all kinds of thoughts you will get? Now try to see can you really live without it? Do you see any freedom in it? Do you find peace of mind for not having to maintain it anymore?
If I continue with the above example of a car owner, then in the start I will see the pain of not having my own car. I will feel that I will always have to be dependent on public transport. I will fear what my friends and relative think. They would definitely assume that I do not have money now. I will feel jealous every time I see other people with their car. If I see on the positive side, then I don’t have to travel in traffic anymore. I don’t have to worry about scratches and damages to the car or maintenance of it. I can use that money somewhere else and can get peace of mind.
To become a strong self we need to do two steps. First, do not create anymore tags at least in our mind. This does not mean you stop growing, but it means that you don’t limit yourself to anything. Second, lose as much as possible tags from the mind. You don’t need to actually sell the car but owning of it does not create any bondage. You are fine with it and without it as well.
Untag the Self and Be a free bird.